Sasha Cohen Failed Our Country

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I'm KIDDING. Mostly. But honestly, haven't these Olympics been tremendously miserable for the anticipated stars? Doesn't anyone want to be on a Wheaties box? Who would they use at this point--Bode Miller for his awesome commercials?

And speaking of commercials, how historically embarassing was the snowboarder chick's early celebration gold-to-silver fall? Lindsey Jacobellis is about to win gold and she inexplicably tries to bust a trick and ends up in the snow. It's too bad her coach wasn't there to tell her that her Visa check card got stolen so peace and calm could wash over her when she started getting a little too excited about the victory that never was. Hilarious.

That event, though, the snowboardcross, was super cool. It's almost like having skiers run the luge track--a bunch at a time. What a great idea. I bet whoever thought of it is brilliant and has an age that starts with a 2.

I have to comment on the pathetic Shani Davis-Chad Hedrick speedskating feud. The brooding inner-city wonder vs. the chiseled Texan. You'd think it'd be intriguing. Instead it was like watching two friends fight in the middle-school cafeteria and then listening to them both tell their side of the story for the next week.

I don't know if I'm taking Davis' side, but I'm not with Hedrick.

Ok, so Shani Davis is kind of self-focused and withdrawn and made individual success his sole concern. If you think that's terrible then criticize him. Even publicly if you think you need to. But then let's move on with our lives. When Davis and another U.S. skater both medalled Hedrick made it a point to only congratulate his other teammate? Then calls Davis childish for leaving a press event after saying he thought Hedrick disrespected him. Probably the most nauseating thing was when Hedrick was interviewed after getting third in the 1,500 meters and blamed his loss on the feud (mostly his creation in the first place), then proceeded to drone on and on and on about how he's a team-first guy, hangs out with the teammates, they'll all tell you I put the team first, blah blah blah.

You know what? Shani Davis is your teammate too. If you're so big on supporting the team how about you air your complaints once and then bury the hatchet and get the team focused. Or maybe even publicly congratulate him when he wins your country a medal.

Final thought: I may be crazy, but doesn't Irina Slutskaya sounds like the female lead in an Austin Powers movie?