MAXIM Super Sleazy

Here's the back story on this ridiculous letter sent in advance to the female guests of this year's Maxim Super Bowl party. A friend of mine, like most men, wanted to attend badly. His friend's girlfriend, a 2005 "hometown hottie," was on the list. He begged her to take him. Alas, she could not take him (or any man). In explanation she forwarded Maxim's directions.

I think it's actually charming how these guys understand and embrace the utter shallowness of their undertaking. The letter is funny--the FAQ's are priceless. You read it here first.

----------Forwarded message ----------
"MAXIM ROCK CITY"

Congratulations, you are receiving this email as personal confirmation of your invitation to the exclusive Maxim pre-Game celebrity party. Please read this entire email (especially the FAQs at the bottom.)

The party starts at 9pm, Saturday, February 4th, 2006.

In order to check-in you must arrive at the check-in point at Orchestra Place (3663 Woodward Ave, Detroit, MI 48201) You will need a valid 21+ ID. Once checked in you will be escorted to the party nearby.

Our Maxim Superbowl event is one of the most anticipated events of the year and is very exclusive with only the most notable actors, musicians, professional athletes, models, and industry executives in attendance.

You were personally selected to be invited to this event, and we expect you to arrive looking impressive and ready to party!

You must arrive by 9:30pm for check-in, traffic will be challenging so plan accordingly. Parking is available in the parking structure behind the checkin area.

This particular list is for women only. If you would like to recommend another HOT Girlfriend, please have them submit a recent picture and their full name to detroit@igetin.com. Please do not attempt to bring any male accompaniment, they will not be admitted under any circumstance. We have a zero tolerance policy.

Our theme this year is a Maxim Rock Opera (so come dressed as that hot, dirty rocker chick) with amazing drinks and insane entertainment. Of course, as with all Maxim events, everything is complimentary for guests.

regards,
Noah Flom & "Breakfast"
talent & special events
Maxim Magazine
detroit@igetin.com< mailto:mailto:) www.igetin.com

FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions)

Q. Can Guys (boyfriend, husband, etc) come?

A. No, this is a very exclusive party - so leave 'em at home and come enjoya crazy night with the celebs and over-the-top Maxim madness. Unless you're banging Justin Timberlake or Pharell (but I think they're already on the list)

Q. What should I wear?

A. This is one of the hottest parties you will ever go to, and only you'regetting in because you're a hot chick. So take the opportunity to be bold, aggressive, alluring, and downright sexy. Your job is to make Carmen Electra, Paris Hilton and Jessica Alba look bad...don't f%$k it up!

Q. Should I eat before I come to the party?

A. Maybe - it depends on what you're wearing. We won't be serving food, socome ready for cocktails and other goodies, but don't come starving for dinner, unless that's the only way you're going to look good in that mini-skirt or liquid latex outfit you have planned...then by all means, fashion is a bitch.

Q. Can I bring my really hot girlfriend that didn't RSVP?

A. Yes, if she is really Maxim Hot and has a 21+ ID. Be honest with yourself and us, because if she's not hot enough for us she won't get in, then you will be faced with that unfortunate choice of leaving her in the cold while you party like a rockstar with the likes of Josh Duhamel, Jaz-Z, Jessica Alba, Tom Brady...

Q. I don't really look like the photo that I sent in, will that be a problem when I check-in?

A. Yes, even though you RSVPed and we added you to our exclusive list, we still retain the absolute right to refuse entrance to anyone we want. That means your girlfriend that is the "designated driver," the one that "offends spandex", the one that makes you look hotter or thinner, the one that only gets into hot clubs because she is with you, the one that buys cocktails out of circumstance, not out of choice...we are NOT going to let her in; sorry, this week we are shallow guys who only care about looks; this is our job and we like the money and the perks; don't embarrass them or us.