Word "Consultant" Rapidly Losing Meaning
Ask a guy at a bar what he does right now he'll probably say he's some kind of consultant. Oh he may tack on some preceding descriptor--"an investigative consultant," "a research consultant,"--but the odds are 4 in 7 that you're gonna get that professionaly sexy c-word.
And that's why it's becoming stupider and stupider with each new day.
Case in point: Yesterday my friend Will and I observed a ceaseless flow of middle-aged women wearing matching white t-shirts that implored us to "Live the Magic!" in bright pink letters. When we finally queried one "Live the Magic" wearer we learned that the women were at the adjacent hotel for a convention of private sellers of a certain line of candles (Candle Avon ladies). But don't say sales or retail around these part-time professionals. Not sure how to phrase their line of work Will started, "so you..."
"We're independent consultants," she answered.
Ah. Independent consultants.
Most shallow college students today are eager to enter the field of "consulting," and 1/20 successfully land work at firms paid by corporations or goverments to propose strategic solutions to problems and give business advice. Apparently the other 19/20 just become cubicle monkeys and decide to (why not?) throw consultant on their business card anyway. Actually it's not even the employees who do this as much as the businesses, who now call coffee retreivers "research assistants" and photocopiers "investigative analysts." I guess you can't post a job opportunity for a paper slave, you need to be hiring an "information consultant." Hey look at this job--sounds impressive!
In today's world of overblown corporate language if you cat-sit one week for your Aunt, it just may end up as a buzz word-laden item on your resume in two months:
Feline Resource Distribution Enginer:
Had primary role in the management and oversight of food and water disbursement to a team of feline clients. Also had a supervisory caretaking role with the team.
The net effect is that every working American is an analyst or consultant, and everyone's managing or leading something. Oh, and every employer is some type of "firm." Make video games? Congratulations! You have a software development firm. This makes the 25 year old game makers "partners" and the 15 year old game testers "research consultants." (I can't wait till a middle schooler hops off a skateboard to hand me his "consultant" business card).
The bottom line is that words like consultant will mean nothing in 2 years.
For the time being, though, I'm happy to report that a recent promotion has elevated me to the level of "consultant" within my DC-area "firm." And I just ordered my consultant business cards. They should be here in 3 weeks.
And that's why it's becoming stupider and stupider with each new day.
Case in point: Yesterday my friend Will and I observed a ceaseless flow of middle-aged women wearing matching white t-shirts that implored us to "Live the Magic!" in bright pink letters. When we finally queried one "Live the Magic" wearer we learned that the women were at the adjacent hotel for a convention of private sellers of a certain line of candles (Candle Avon ladies). But don't say sales or retail around these part-time professionals. Not sure how to phrase their line of work Will started, "so you..."
"We're independent consultants," she answered.
Ah. Independent consultants.
Most shallow college students today are eager to enter the field of "consulting," and 1/20 successfully land work at firms paid by corporations or goverments to propose strategic solutions to problems and give business advice. Apparently the other 19/20 just become cubicle monkeys and decide to (why not?) throw consultant on their business card anyway. Actually it's not even the employees who do this as much as the businesses, who now call coffee retreivers "research assistants" and photocopiers "investigative analysts." I guess you can't post a job opportunity for a paper slave, you need to be hiring an "information consultant." Hey look at this job--sounds impressive!
In today's world of overblown corporate language if you cat-sit one week for your Aunt, it just may end up as a buzz word-laden item on your resume in two months:
Feline Resource Distribution Enginer:
Had primary role in the management and oversight of food and water disbursement to a team of feline clients. Also had a supervisory caretaking role with the team.
The net effect is that every working American is an analyst or consultant, and everyone's managing or leading something. Oh, and every employer is some type of "firm." Make video games? Congratulations! You have a software development firm. This makes the 25 year old game makers "partners" and the 15 year old game testers "research consultants." (I can't wait till a middle schooler hops off a skateboard to hand me his "consultant" business card).
The bottom line is that words like consultant will mean nothing in 2 years.
For the time being, though, I'm happy to report that a recent promotion has elevated me to the level of "consultant" within my DC-area "firm." And I just ordered my consultant business cards. They should be here in 3 weeks.
posted by Luke @ 3:20 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home