You Couldn't Invent a Better News Headline

...than "Man Tasered By Police In Salad Bar Dispute: Aurora Police Say Proper Procedures Followed At Chuck E. Cheese." Read the story in all it's glory here.

The victim/crouton assailant Danon Gale, 29, was in a packed Chuck E. Cheese with his two young children when he was spotted "loading" his plate at the salad bar. He was asked to step outside and refused and a struggle ensued. Accounts vary. What is clear is that he was eventually thrown into the lap of a peaceful pizza eater and tasered. Police say he pushed an officer, but that is disputed by witness Felicia Mayo, who said Gale never put his hands on the officer who was confronting him. According to the Rocky Mountain News:

The argument escalated until Gale was shoved into the lap of Mayo's sister, who was sitting two booths away, holding a 10-month-old baby. That's when police pulled out a Taser stun gun to subdue him.

"They beat this man in front of all these kids then Tased him in my sister's lap," Mayo told the newspaper. "They had no regard for the effect this would have on the kids. This is Chuck E. Cheese, you know."

While possibly scarring, the beating and tasering undoubtedly taught all of the shrieking children a valuable lesson in not stealing from the salad bar.